|Raphael Hefti - Launching Rockets Never Gets Old (2012)|
There is a huge window at this place I love to spend my don’t-know-what-to-do-but-it’s-too-early-to-go-home time. I’d sit there alone for I don’t know how long with cold coffee and a good book. Mostly, I don’t even pay attention on my book because the world outside the window is just so fascinating. I used to think that life is like a mysterious forest. Snakes hide behind the prettiest daffodils, you feel like there are pairs of invisible eyes watch your smallest move even when it’s total quite, blurred line between hazard and life saver. The only way to survive is just keep moving and fuck everything. But then I found this window, and I know that the world behind the window is just life itself. Like you take a sample cell from a living organ and make a research. The world behind the window is a perfect miniature of the world.
The place behind the window is just a simple alley where people come and go. Alley that connects everything, and that is the main reason why it is so enticing. The alley is the main road. You can sit in one of the bench in a warm morning, thinking about what are you gonna do on the day. Then, as the sun getting higher, the alley started to get crowded. There are many kind of people, they are all got in one road, the alley. Even though everyone meets everyone here, not all of them bunch into the same scene.
The alley is so small that everybody is connected, but somehow they have different stories. I am overwhelmed of the fact that one small alley can contain so many paths, even paths you can't imagine. Paths that are so unexpected your wildest dream couldn't even reach it. They are tangled in the most neatly way. It is presentable as a live act and you can watch it through the window. The alley is one strange place.
The window is my favorite screen. I'm kind of dissapointed because I can't join them in the alley. Not that I am uninvited, I just threw away my invitation. My path is knotted with others in the alley, but I'm such a coward when it comes to believing people. I learned that I don't belong anywhere and so even when I got sick of watching, I kept on watching.
Through the window, I saw people who just walked in to my room, having a social scene or two. Some stayed, some were just passing by. I love most of them and in fact, they taught me to be braver and wiser. I saw those people whose past and stories aren't a new thing for me, but judging them is still an unfair thing to do. The more I stared through the window the more I realized that maybe, this piece of huge glass is not transparant at all, but reflects everything. Maybe the window is just a huge mirror. I am staring to a huge mirror, standing in the alley and fight my battle. My mind is perplexed and I know that even though I can define life as the alley behind the window, I can't define what is the alley. I can't tell if it's a window or a mirror. All I can do is anologizing.
So I sit there, sipping my cold coffee and sometimes read my good book. But if you wanna come and sit beside me, I'm gonna be glad. We are going to watch the most interesting screen ever and forget what's "lonely" means.